What do I want to do? I don't know, but I'll know when I get there.
Friday, August 12, 2011
I'm having renter's remorse. I feel like I really shou've moved, should've bet on myself. Let myself breathe a little. Slept in a little. But I needed to get away, not move backwards. I don't have anywhere to GO. I need some respite, and I'm out of options. O, modern world. I just want somewhere to lay my weary head without it costing a thousand dollars. Is there a hippie commune nearby? Even a weekend yoga retreat will put me back nearly a thousand. Money, money money money money moneymoney.
What is bringing out the regrets tonight? I feel like after five years, people should be asking me my plans and inviting me places. I realize how that sounds. But it's how I feel. And as my therapist says, there are no wrong feelings. So I fell asleep on the couch here at nine instead. What would I have done out? Drank? Yep. So I'm glad that I didn't do that. Tomorrow there is a SLUT WALK that I really want to attend, but I guess I'll attend that alone. I wanted to go with someone, but noe one wants want s to do it with me. "I'm so alone." -Fake Lindsay Lohan on the cover of Us Weekly.
Remember Gone with the Wind? Scarlett is always trying to get Ashely Wilkes to notice her and (spoiler alert) she finally gets her way only to realize that he isn't what she wants because he kind of sucks. That's how I feel.